Welcome to my first blog.
I have been tasked by my therapist to choose one of the criterion of my Borderline Personality Disorder, and talk about why I struggle with the certain criterion. I am also tasked with thinking not solely with a reasonable mind or an emotional mind, but to overlap them and to think about my mental disorder with a wise mind.
Here’s the worksheet I was given after therapy on November 2, 2017:
There are nine categorical criterion that align with the borderline personality disorder. To be diagnosed with the disorder you must suffer from five of the nine, I had seven when I was diagnosed at Eastern State Mental Hospital. The criterion is as follows:
- frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
- a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
- identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
- impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). This does not include suicidal or self-harming behaviour.
- recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
- affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood – intense feelings that can last from a few hours to a few days.
- chronic feelings of emptiness.
- inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.
- transient, stress-related paranoid ideas or severe dissociative symptoms.
The criterion I suffer the most with is affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, to say less… mood swings. As I said in my about me section if you read it; I am not my mental disorder. Though I suffer with it, it does not define me or make me unhappy. I struggle with mood swings because I, as many women, think with an emotional mind 80% of the time and cannot control that. For the other 20%, I do think with a very reasonable mind and I able to accept the fact that I possibly will always have these mood swings, but if I get rid of other criterion of my mental illness, I will no longer be a Borderline patient. As I combine both an emotional mind and a reasonable mind as I said before I begin to think with a wise mind.
Thinking with a wise mind as stated in the worksheet I posted above means that you see the value of both reason and emotion. You bring the left brain and the right brain together, and see the wisdom within each person. Honestly I’ve completed the task I was given, so my first blog ends. Let me leave you with this… Good, better, best. Never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is the best.