Loving a Borderline..

I am a Borderline patient. Meaning I suffer from having a mental illness more specifically, Borderline personality disorder. No it doesn’t mean I have a bunch of personalities living inside of me that choose to come out when they want, that is Multiple Personality Disorder.

I would like to start this by first giving the medical definition of Borderline Personality Disorder as defined on the website National Institute of Mental Health:

Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD) is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships.

Now that you have that let me tell you what its like to love someone who suffers from borederline.

Loving a borderline means loving them even when they tell you they don’t love you and that they never want to see you again.

Loving a borderline means loving them despite their constant mood swings. One moment they are happy and the next they are experiencing a downfall… a really low downfall.

Loving a borderline means loving them when although they say they love themselves, their mental disorder always convinces them otherwise. So they have the self-destructive thoughts that sometimes they never escape.

Loving a borderline means loving them even when you can’t quite figure out why you’re still even trying with this “crazy person”.

Loving a borderline means loving them on the days where they struggle to stop thinking about self mutilating behaviors. The days where their sucidal thoughts last longer than normal, but per usual they go away and the Borderline expects you to forget that it even happened.

Loving a borderline means loving them even if you have nothing to say to them at the moment. Because maybe they just said something that left you speechless, but be sure to let the borderline know that you were listening.

Loving a borderline means loving someone who has lost all meaning in life. So be as careful with their heart, don’t make them feel like they can’t come to you because they think they bother you.

Loving a borderline means loving them and not making everything they tell you about you. A borderline never really needs a comparison, they can compare multiple situation that have happened to them if references are needed.

Loving a borderline means loving someone who has a mental illness. Please don’t pick and choose when you want to love them. They deserve so much more.

Loving a borderline means loving someone genuinely and having patience that they will someday be cured of their mental illness.

Loving a borderline means getting involved. Pick up a book or two about Borderline Personality Disorder. Get very comfortable wih knowing what the mental illness does to this person you are loving. (A great book to pick up is I hate you- Don’t Leave me by Hal Straus and Jerold J. Kreisman.)

Loving a borderline means accepting the stress that comes with a loving them or just caring for them.

Loving a borderline means loving someone who constantly seeks attention through the wrong ways. Show them they can get the attention they want, positively, without the risk taking behaviors.

Loving a borderline means loving someone who loves pain. Physical pain though, the mental pain of having borderline is enough for the borderline.

Finally, Loving a borderline means simply loving another human. Though a borderline suffers from a mental illness, they are still human. They still bleed. They still cry, sleep, get angry, and they really always want to die.

If you are loving a Borderline patient, let me leave you with this…. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank you for reading through to the finish. I apprectiate your time and support.

Much love,

Najiyyah.

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